inthebiginnings4

We can make a voo-doo doll! I have very nice and long push pins... We should make one for the workroom that has a little t on it that says "i'm a professional" -- wouldn't that be funny ...

Work was work. Just doing time until my next paychecky!

had a nice rollerblade outing, though, today. got nice and melty.

new food item i am eating a lot of is mango sorbet and vanilla icecream. it is like a mango dreamsicle.

hope you have a good nite!

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: news

Date: July 14, 2012 10:57:13 PM EDT

To: dominick@

Dominick,

I sent an email to Cheryl and Megan about the censorship. The reply was that they would miss my input without addressing the censorship.. This is the first draft of the / My newsletter I intend to deliver Wed. Thurs is the resident meeting.

Edits not seen in this pdf:

In the community connection section, I also offer a laminated copy as a placemat for a $5 donation/ you can make your cake and eat it too! on a worthy placemat that loves your crumbs.

i also talk about the newsletter that was offered up to any resident to write in the resident meeting, and taken away with non disclosed hubris in private.

what do you think????

From: dominick@

Subject: Re: news

Date: July 18, 2012 7:01:06 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Hi Angela,

I've been meaning to get back to you....tired and busy....and sometimes in limbo lala land.

I certainly feel and hear your frustration and pain plus your passion to make right for what you are feeling is unjust. I agree with you that your original comment in the last newsletter about the wifi was not mean spirited...it was acknowledging something that needs to be addressed.

I will most likely be going up to Bucksport on Thursday. I think I could still make the meeting on Thursday. I arranged with David to call him this morning. We haven't gotten a chance to talk at some length since I last saw him.

Dominick

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: news

Date: July 18, 2012 9:06:39 AM EDT

To: dominick@

hello

with much inner debate, i will be sending out the newsletter today. i don't see a way to change or even to address what is wrong, without standing and speaking my truth. no doubt, it will come as a surprise to some sleepy management types.

...

i, myself, won't be at the meeting; this is my jumping off point.

i have a new kaizen proto and i'm actually delighted. it came right on the heels of inner exasperation, because none of the proto designs really moved me. in the final revision, i simplify the design and put the unique embellishment forward (wrap around). suddenly, it makes sense and makes me happy. so, it is nice to have this figured out.

now the manufacturing process and marketing.

for starters, i think i will do first friday! and maybe a little poster at work, perhaps ebay and etsy, as i am still not able to upload a website until i put some money in that direction.

i hope you have a great time on your weekend.

talk soon,

From: dominick@

Subject: Re: Re: news

Date: July 18, 2012 12:39:31 PM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Hi Angela,

I think my plans have changed and probably here for the weekend. I hope to talk with you.

Dominick

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: print request

Date: July 18, 2012 9:21:59 AM EDT

To: FedEx Office Monument SQ <usa0168@fedex.com>

Can you print 41 black and white copies, one sided, letter size. I will pick up within the hour.

Thanks,

Angela Cook

From: Tanya Zivkovic

Subject: mighty oaks!

Date: July 18, 2012 3:48:42 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

hey girl,

got the newsletter today, looking good. rock solid, market wise.

i saw this bumper sticker today and thought "how fortuitous":

Today's mighty oak is just yesterdays nut that held its ground.

I am thinking of doing a large poster-sized image for my show with that saying on it.

I thought of you and the newsletter immediately. Nuts to them, I say!

be well.

ps.

when i have the funds i want two placemats.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: mighty oaks!

Date: July 18, 2012 11:16:24 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

what a great seeing / saying and the timing!

i really love it. i hope you do do it for your show.

me-shell sent a message saying she is opting out, that i am negative and angry.

duh! (not without reason).

i didn't expect to get along with her and her zany, ungrounded input. it was a courtesy.

have a good nite.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: friday

Date: July 18, 2012 2:00:30 PM EDT

To: dominick@

On Friday, would you be interested in going to jefferson b&b and woodshop? I have a few screws to assemble on my magnet board, talk a wee bit of shop with Rick, and there is an art opening of Barbara (downstairs, and Linda, Rick's wife), and we can tool around in Damariscotta if you like.

From: dominick@

Subject: Re: friday

Date: July 18, 2012 5:14:51 PM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Hi Angela,

That certainly sounds like alot of fun. I just got back from seeing my friend Nick and we made plans for Friday afternoon to go to the beach. It would have been great to spend some time together and see some pretty places.

Thank you for the friendly offer and look forward to hopefully doing something fun in the near future.

Dominick

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: friday

Date: July 18, 2012 11:36:10 PM EDT

To: dominick@

we will hook up... i don't have definite plans.

i am meant to start trapezo with rick at some point, but the work i have done in the community room with card board has informed me that i want the cubes and shelves to integrate vs be stacked on top of each other, so i am not exactly ready to work on that -- but glad i am feeling my way, because i think it will turn out (hopefully) ingenious and unique.

that was a long sentence!

have a great weekend.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Gallery

Date: July 19, 2012 2:12:00 PM EDT

To: Megan Entwistle <MEntwistle@avestahousing.org>

they will not bring a ladder. if jacob schedule works with them, they would probably not turn away help,

On Jul 19, 2012, at 2:08 PM, Megan Entwistle wrote:

Do they need assistance and, if so, I need to make sure it works with Jacobs schedule.

Thanks,

Megan

From: Angela Cook [mailto:xubrnt@mac.com]

Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 12:27 PM

To: Megan Entwistle

Subject: Re: Gallery

if you want.

On Jul 19, 2012, at 11:47 AM, Megan Entwistle wrote:

Do they need assistance from maintenance?

From: Angela Cook [mailto:xubrnt@mac.com]

Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 11:34 AM

To: Megan Entwistle

Subject: Re: Gallery

They will be here Aug 31 @ 10:30 am.

On Jul 19, 2012, at 11:30 AM, Megan Entwistle wrote:

Angela,

Can you check with your artists to see if they are available between 10-12 to take down their art on the 2nd of August? The August artist will be installing his art the evening of the 2nd. Please let me know if this will be an issue. Cheryl said that her and some Avesta coworkers really enjoyed your art work when they attended First Friday! I was on vacation that week, otherwise I would’ve loved to have be there!

Thanks,

Megan

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: yo-yo!

Date: July 19, 2012 12:40:55 AM EDT

To: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

I delivered this before I went to work on Wednesday.

Thurs, while they have their meeting here, I think I will drop a copy off for Greg Payne. Any one else you can think of?

I debated a good while. There is no other way to be respectfully acknowledged in light of their bad management decisions.

Do you think I should drop a copy off for Megan and Cheryl? Hollie, whom I never see?

From: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

Subject: RE: yo-yo!

Date: July 19, 2012 8:26:43 AM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

I've been swamped with major deadlines but I talked with Greg on Friday. He is on vacation this week but he said he was going to try to get someone else from the development division to go to the meeting. I don't know if he did that or not, but if you see someone else there, it's probably from the development side of things. I explained the situation to Greg and he said it sounds like Avesta needs to find a way to customize policies for Oak Street. I think it would be fair for you guys to say you are not happy with the stifling nature of the policies and you encourage them to dig deeper to find something that works and at the same time not alienate the management staff from you the artist residents. Eventually they will see that everyone will be happier if you can all work together - lots of lost energy working against each other. Good luck!!

Ben Walter AIA, President

CWS Architects | Portland, Maine

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: yo-yo!

Date: July 19, 2012 9:36:08 AM EDT

To: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

cool, thanks.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: yo-yo!

Date: July 19, 2012 5:33:19 PM EDT

To: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

i didn't go.

i can't work with management that dials me down.

i have taken my ideas to market 72oak.org and am going to use them for myself.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: oaks meeting.

Date: July 19, 2012 2:08:41 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

hi,

cleaned my apartment today, girl!

glad about your coffee connection.

thanks about the car info.

was ms. meca there?

talk to you later,

On Jul 19, 2012, at 1:10 PM, Tanya Zivkovic wrote:

Hey girl.

I was 15 minutes late to the meeting so I missed everything about the newsletter. Dom was there so I guess we will both have to get the skinny from him.

I hope you are doing well, today is such a beautiful day - no humidity which is awesome. I went to coffee with a boy this morning, that was nice, he was a nice guy, met him online.

Be well,

t.z.

ps.

I didn't make it to the 2 degrees meeting last night, my head was too busy with other things. but it looks like a cool program. also, if your car ever craps out on you check out www.morethanwheels.com they do loans on new cars for people with low income levels. i just found out about them this week. cheers!

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: oaks meeting.

Date: July 19, 2012 5:37:28 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

alright, i will prepare to have something for first friday.

i may not do it in front of osl, because i can't speak nicely about it.

i don't think they got the newsletter as in, it wasn't leaked.

should i send them one?

megan has been emailing me all day about when the current artists will pick up their art and do they need assistance.

where is yogave?

On Jul 19, 2012, at 4:11 PM, Tanya Zivkovic wrote:

Angela!

Cleaning can be very theraputic.

Ms. MECA was not in attendance, thank God, but the dude Tyler who is going to be doing the newsletter was there. And a few new people showed up too which was great, Leonard, a guy from my floor, short and older - smoker with glasses and blue t-shirts, and Amanda and Melissa, my neighbors. Rebecca, Ingrid and Cathy were there, Ted, Dominic and Richard, the usual cast of characters. I missed seeing your sunny face though.

Keeping cool today, it is a totally nice day and tonight is deep relaxation yoga at Yogave so that is super.

I am looking forward to having a table out front for first friday.

Be good to yourself - I believe in you.

Peace!

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: oaks meeting.

Date: July 19, 2012 5:50:41 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

I noticed my newsletter for July is down in the front entrance. tape was left. no sign of the extras in the lobby.

she wanted to know if they could remove the day before next first friday, i said they were going to be here aug 31 at 10:30.

she wanted to know if they would need assistance... if they could work in jacob's schedule. i said if jacob could work in their schedule, that would be fine.

kind of weird how i have to restate it.

On Jul 19, 2012, at 5:43 PM, Tanya Zivkovic wrote:

Yogave is a studio in Falmouth, it is donation based, so if you have a dollar you give a dollar. 170 Route One, on the left hand side if you take Rt 1 north, right after A Perfect Smile.

I think they might have heard about your newsletter, I don't know if they read it or not, I sort of think not.

Are they really worried about Barbara and Richard getting their things out of the space? That seems strange to me. They can have their things down there until the day before the next first friday, right?

anyway, i am hoping to sell a few eggs or something that night, i need the cash...

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: dog request

Date: July 19, 2012 7:11:08 PM EDT

To: Megan Entwistle <mentwistle@avestahousing.org>

Megan,

I have a letter from my doctor for a canine. Who do I send this to?

Angela

From: Angela Cook <fabric8@mac.com>

Subject: ideas

Date: July 19, 2012 10:06:39 PM EDT

To: Linda Gallion

Rick,

I have been working with the cardboard, and it has me thinking of a different way to assemble. I won't be ready to meet tomorrow. I'm still tinkering with ideas. Next week I have Friday and Saturday off... how about you?

Angela

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: an accounting

Date: July 19, 2012 11:30:15 PM EDT

To: gpayne@avestahousing.org

From: Tanya Zivkovic

Subject: Angela Cook, where aaaare yooou?

Date: July 21, 2012 6:39:18 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hi Angela.

I have not heard from you for a while, since the meeting thing, and I wanted to know how you are.

Did you hear from Dominic what they said? I haven't been speaking with Richard so he didn't tell me.

Well, we spoke a little but not about that.

Also, I did hear a little from Cathy (second floor) about it, but what she said didn't make much sense.

I hope all is well, I am thinking of you and oh, I am a little freaked out because the second dude I met

from the dating thing online, well, he was a convicted felon and uh, yeah. Manslaughter - 16 years.

So. That happened. We just had coffee, but still, wow. He was super smart and funny. And a prisoner.

Hope all is well, I am thinking of you and sending good vibes.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Angela Cook, where aaaare yooou?

Date: July 21, 2012 8:54:51 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

Hi!

Dominick was doing something with is friend Nick, so I haven't spoken to him lately.

I have been sewing. Did my first run of little bags. Have the advertising art on the way in that I finely uploaded the design. I should have the cards by the 3rd. Being lazy. Need to work out because I don't wake up otherwise!

I hope the coffee was good. That is a lot to digest in one get-to-know-you conversation.

There was a cute guy in line today at the register. At some point, it would be nice to do coffee with someone nice.

Earlier today, I was looking at tv's at Sam's club. I think I can use a tv as a monitor to stream movies. It is a foregone conclusion that I will need to get internet service if I want to have entertainment... so thinking how to configure it.

thanks for the vibes!

From: Tanya Zivkovic

Subject: RE: Angela Cook, where aaaare yooou?

Date: July 21, 2012 9:13:01 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

i stream netflix into my tv with my dvd player, other people use roku.

i need a new television but don't want to buy one until this old one dies.

glad you are keeping busy creating. i started an egg the other day and i cannot figure out why i haven't finished it.

having coffee with boys is great because it is so inexpensive and civil. i never have done this before.

normally i skip the courting aspects of relationships and such. this is much better.

heart,

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: really nice

Date: July 22, 2012 10:23:57 PM EDT

To: Suzanne Louise

Suzanne,

It was really nice to meet with all the ladies, and partake in a memorable turning point.

Have an awesome birthday and beyond!

xo,

From: allisha

Subject:

Date: July 23, 2012 10:57:58 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Good morning Angela,

I have attached for you a picture of the final product being shipped to you today. I think it still looks great! I was waiting to hear back from you Friday but seems you weren't able to get back to me until after we had closed for the day. I see that you had called on Saturday and spoken to Nikki about it but it already went to print. Our prepress matched up the blue that was on your art. They weren't able to change the size of your image because of the format.

Let me know what you think seeing the image I provided.

Thank you,

Allisha

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re:

Date: July 23, 2012 11:05:56 AM EDT

To: allisha

Allisha,

I agree with you. I like what you have done. Thanks for the serendipity. All systems Go!

Angela

From: allisha

Subject: Re:

Date: July 23, 2012 11:10:41 AM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hi Angela,

Im glad you approve! You should have them in 3 days! :)

It's been nice working with you,

Allisha

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re:

Date: July 23, 2012 11:17:48 AM EDT

To: allisha@

you, too~

From: David Olsen

Subject: Up for some sewing?

Date: June 20, 2012 4:47:39 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Reply-To: owareusa.com

Angela-

I have some bivy sacks made of very light nylon that would fray unless it

is serged. Do you have any interest in sewing some? I would UPS them and

include a UPS return label.

Dave

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: June 21, 2012 2:18:09 PM EDT

To: owareusa.com

Dave,

I look forward to the bivys.

What I am doing right now is working on a collection to show in a gallery in a year.

I may be getting a website soon... I'll definitely keep you in mind for a link.

Thanks!

Angela

From: David Olsen

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: July 3, 2012 1:44:06 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Reply-To: owareusa.com

Angela-

I am sending 7 bivysacks to be sewn. There is a return label in the box. UPS.

The sample sent is made using a straight stitch, but one of the the fabric tops frays, so would like the bivys sewn

with the serger, at least where the uncoated fabric is sewn.

Try them out. I will send 12 more if everything works. Then probably more.

Dave

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: July 3, 2012 2:29:31 PM EDT

To: owareusa.com

sounds good!

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: July 24, 2012 1:14:11 PM EDT

To: owareusa.com

Dave,

I have taken a look at the bivy sacks, and understand that you want me to use the serger. Do you want me to straight stitch as you have done, and then use the serger on the unfinished seams, or do you want me to use the serger in place of the straight stitch, where I can?

Thanks,

Angela

From: David Olsen

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: July 24, 2012 3:55:26 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Reply-To: owareusa.com

Angela,

Use the serger in place of the straight stitch where apropriate (most if not all seams). The goal is

to reduce time to sew and also a bit of weight by not having to bind or fold the seams.

Also I have a customer in Maine who just called to see if he could get some netting added to a tent I made.

Are you interested in doing custom sewing work for people that live near you? I can send his email if you

are.

Thanks,

Dave

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: July 24, 2012 11:57:37 PM EDT

To: owareusa.com

ok.

I can work on this on Friday, and yes on the Maine person.

Thanks,

Angela

From: David Olsen

Subject: Re: Up for some sewing?

Date: July 25, 2012 5:13:28 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Reply-To: owareusa.com

Hi -

Here is the fellows email address. I can send some fabric in a future order if you need to make or modify

something for him. He is in his 70's and still backpacks and is trying to lighten his load.

/////////

Thanks,

Dave

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: oh fiddle faddle

Date: July 26, 2012 10:44:15 AM EDT

To: Linda Gallion

Hello Rick,

I am still fiddling with ideas for the next wood project... I won't be up tomorrow, however I hope to have this figured out soon.

Thanks,

Angela

From: Angela Cook <fabric8@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Friday Movies at 23 Madison

Date: July 26, 2012 7:46:27 PM EDT

To: Suzanne Louise

Suzanne,

Do you know any place / one that is hiring? or where I might look?

Trader Joes is becoming untenable for me. Reviews are out, no pay raise, and I really feel my "captain" is biased against me. I am tired of feeling drop-kicked at work.

Angela

From: Suzanne Louise

Subject: Re: Friday Movies at 23 Madison

Date: July 26, 2012 7:59:27 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <fabric8@mac.com>

Hi Angela, I am sorry work is not going well. I will put it out there and see what I find. Let''s talk more about your options when I see you.

Can you come on Friday?

Love,Suzanne

From: Angela Cook <fabric8@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Friday Movies at 23 Madison

Date: July 27, 2012 1:01:52 AM EDT

To: Suzanne Louise

see u friday!

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: breathe!

Date: July 27, 2012 2:32:58 AM EDT

To: Linda Simmon

I am thinking of quitting at Tj. The review was very biased, unfair, and I feel the captain has it in for me.

i have been up, pulling one-card-tarot online.

It keeps giving me positive (wealth / wheel of fortune) cards -- in light of being so upset at work.

I have a product that is nearly come to fruition . I won't be able to create a website until I get a new computer however I can sell to friends, on the streets of downtown (it is legal) and little cards are in the mail for printed materials:

I can create a letter/ brochure to send to dentist's offices, athletic teams, and other organizations, for purchase as gifts for staff. I can list on ebay and etsy.

Of course, I can make other product with the embellishment on it to have more of a product line.

I really feel the captain has an intention against me, and it would be wretched to continue to work there knowing i am so devalued, when the job owns me. i've talked to several people about keeping a few days of the job and getting something else. I consulted a psychic for $1 text answer, and she left a recording saying she thinks I should move on- she sees that it isnt' going to be happy for me.

I caught Libbi with the intention and spelled it out for her in the interview with observation (another manager). A girl I work with complained about me. I in turn, did not complain about her. This happened months ago. I said I see this negative against me, and that you did not investigate my side of the story, and it's as if it is set in stone with an intention in this review. Then I pointedly asked if Anna Maria got her raise yet? Which caused Libbi to react facially then say that information is confidential.

The tarot keeps giving me positive, in spite of this new shit.

I have been depressed for the last 2 weeks, as management at this artist residence is Soo Tight. They took back the newsletter because I told people to contact management about the cumbersome internet. So, I did my own newsletter informing residence about all that is twat with management.

I have been depressed because it was good venue for me, and practicing being pc, informative, mediator between management and residence. I curated an art show in the gallery, and it was the first one to have any major foot traffic, due to my marketing and word of mouth.

I haven't been able to find my motivation. I have been concerned about it, knowing that my level of energy will pull to me a level of customer ... I haven't been able to want to exercise, and feel that somehow in my flat-line personality that I am now a truly acceptable tj employee. I have been marveling that I could sustain it for so long.

one part of me, suspects the knowing part, that i knowingly let this dwindle until this exit.

recently a person complained about me because i asked her to put her cart on my side (that is where we unload the carts) and didn't offer her child stickers. her child was such a spoiled brat, and said she Didn't want to do (put the cart) ... and I didn't offer stickers because I didn't have any. I thanked her very much and handed her the receipt and asked if she wanted the little cart for the groceries.

the woman emailed and said i barked at her several times to put the cart on my side. i do this so the cart is not in other peoples way standing at the next register. i got written up for not being courteous and respectful of others.

and, i didn't bark. i am over being upset with people, but i can't provide being more than lack luster and functional (which is still higher energy than most) as I can't account for my energy loss or how to fix it.

i hope this is the right time for to jump into entrepreneurship. there are other job opportunities, a gelato place etc, but i think the important thing for me is to work for my self.

From: Linda Simmon

Subject: RE: breathe!

Date: July 27, 2012 4:52:25 PM EDT

To: 'Angela Cook' <xubrnt@mac.com>

I think we should talk. How about this weekend? Let me know times you are available. I am almost totally open. I don't want to comment until we actually talk.....

Linda

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: time to go

Date: July 27, 2012 11:18:04 AM EDT

To: Linda Gallion

Rick,

You will be among the first to know. I have quit my job.

I am open to ideas and conversations.

This is what I am sending my boss regarding my review yesterday. I am not able to work under conditions that feel like a ticking time bomb of my termination, plus the politics and game playing where I have no advantage, as it is not what I do.

So, I have a little sewing to do today, and I would like to check in with that guy about the Murphy beds, soon, and see what money I have coming in. I have my little product to launch as well...

Angela

Libbi,

I understand that your flaw is over-thinking things to a fault. You revealed that to me when you did the last interview and I thought it came from Tracy - the negative team player notations. That is when you said "maybe we were over thinking it a bit." It didn't take me long to understand the manipulation and that that is precisely your weakness.

Congratulations! I see it there for you to see! As with the strong bias of saying that I have no regard for my crew members vis a vis Anna Maria, in which you never sought out my experience with her, but determined as a negative for my review which shows a manipulation (your and Tracy's stock in trade, that frankly I tire of) and an intention to deliver a compromised working experience for me, deliberately.

Another one of your faults is jumping to conclusions. That is why you advocate it stringently for others, you can't manage it yourself. As an aside, I did not mention Anna Maria and the bread because I was guilty and hiding, it was because I had work to do, and I thought her flaw (giving me the cold shoulder by not hearing anything I said within the realm of urgency at work and my own schedule to keep as administered per management) her problem. In that this is showing up on my review, unabated, I can only imagine that you supported her in these novice endeavors, and I would place money on her having a raise, before I had my review, because it is apparent these things are important to you.

I will say, I think Anna Maria has a deficiency in which she needs to make herself very important upon other people. As I said, Brian came over and asked which one of us was on bread. Anna Maria was on register, but not really, as she was managing me (although she isn't a manager), blindly forgetting just 5a.m. the other day, I trained with her and got the scoop. Frankly, it is difficult to work with someone that is blind and deaf and vociferously knows it all, but I simply reiterated that I had x amount of time to put this tray up, return the cart, and get to reg, and that I didn't want to have to explain to the person on reg why I was going to be late. To me, this is not something you snitch on, unless the manipulation plays into your "ideals." It didn't play into mine, and therefore I had nothing to say about it.

I feel you have made a mess of our working relationship due to your bias for and against others and ideals you advocate but cannot harness with yourself. I have learned repeatedly while working at Trader Joes, that a manager is not necessarily a leader. Perhaps you do not like the purpose of my forthright communication and transparency, however I would encourage you to pay a visit to the store on Sunday, so you can see Anna Maria in a white petticoat skirt with a Trader Joes t-shirt; She wears a skirt behind your back on your day off. There are plenty of other places I can direct your attention to see the defiance behind your back, but I must assume, you either do not have the capacity to see, or you've got people right where you want them, and that is control per an illusion of being aligned with you. It is kind of like renting a soul, if you think about it.

Regrettable, I hold myself to a higher standard. And as I turn the page, I am not regretting that I am leaving Trader Joes without animosity, all things considered, and which could be considered greatly and in lamentable detail. I have important things to do in my life. I endeavor to leave on good (enough) terms as I now have the opportunity to concentrate on what feeds my spirit without the conundrums of your vainglorious mismanagement.

P.S. Throwing your rump over your shoulder and stomping off was really odd. I really do not know what to say about that, except that it may be less of a burden if you considerately carry less of it around, and don't stomp.

With an abundance of sincerity you can count on, time and time again,

Angela Cook

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Date: July 27, 2012 11:29:19 AM EDT

To: das brick

I am abruptly quitting, this is why. You are very enjoyable to work with and I really appreciate your sense of life.

cheers! on down the road,

angela

....

_{Haul Lies Prague}_{w/ Re visiOn Eve in/n}

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Me-Shell

Date: July 8, 2012 1:03:31 AM EDT

To: Cheryl Poulin <cpoulin@avestahousing.org>

Cc: Megan Entwistle <mentwistle@avestahousing.org>

Bcc: Tanya Zivkovic , dominick@, Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hello,

I have heard from different people at OSL and from Trader Joes that Me-shell is approaching them (as late as First Friday outside the gallery) talking trash about me. She gives a scenario that I was to share my parking space and "the first time (she) took (me) up on it ..." I acted (very) contrary.

The point is, I have emailed you prior about Me-shell and my arrangement, about it to not be ongoing, and that it would be a specific time and duration when I was out of town. I know you have had the same conversation with Me-shell. I can reference my emails to Me-shell, which also discuss the logo/domain input. She seems to respond to that information sufficiently well, which leads me to believe she is selective of some information to only perceive a reality she would like ie that she can park in my place (or other's, as noted before) as she pleases.

This is a petty drain on my energy, adding to the very synchronous and disruptive egg carton tossing down the hall way in front of my door, and the agitated stalking, following me from the elevator to the community room after midnight.

I will point out for Me-shell, what she is saying is slanderous, and can be taken to court.

For my desire, I will do that if necessary. What concerns me is my disinterest to volunteer my efforts to work for or with her. I think you can understand my inclination. Would you want to volunteer your efforts for a cesspool of malfeasance? "Professional" or otherwise?

I am sorry to bring this up, but I hardly know this person as per time invested, and her outstandingly immature actions and overripe conversations with others are disturbing my feeling of comfort living here, combined with pretentious airs of superiority, I am very confused with who I am dealing with.

Perhaps I can inquire at the Museum, where she lost her most recent job, or Renys, where she lost her job before that.

I would appreciate it if you would do something about it, to meliorate a potential conflict, with her tacking on me, thru others, at every turn. It is also, plainly, not very nice, and is not consistent with the demeanor of cooperation and community we are endeavoring to build here with our conscientiously positive and voluntary efforts.

For my crew mates at TJ credit, they told Me-shell that, "I like Angela" and one of them basically turned a deaf ear to Me-shell, because she thought she was "sketchy." If you would like them to verify what they related to me, I can arrange that.

Thank you,

Angela Cook

From: Tanya Zivkovic

Subject: RE: Me-shell

Date: July 8, 2012 9:30:16 AM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Angela,

I am willing to speak to Cheryl or Megan with regards to my conversation with Me-shell. It was not a pleasant conversation and I agree with you on the points that you made in this letter. I do not feel comfortable "collaborating" with someone who is so poisonous.

Please contact me if you need to have me speak to them. You can forward this to them if you like.

As I was not directly involved with the argument between the two of you I feel I am a sort of impartial observer and would provide a different view point.

Tanya Zivkovic

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Fwd: Me-shell

Date: July 8, 2012 9:48:22 AM EDT

To: Cheryl Poulin <cpoulin@avestahousing.org>

Cc: Megan Entwistle <mentwistle@avestahousing.org>

Begin forwarded message:

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Me-shell

Date: July 8, 2012 9:50:41 AM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

Thanks,

I forwarded your email. It is past its due date and needs to stop.

It doesn't feel so muggy yet! I will less par boiled in my head!

From: dominick@

Subject: Re: Me-shell

Date: July 8, 2012 11:18:47 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Hi Angela,

Perhaps you and I could get together and talk soon.

I am heading back to Portland and work Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday overnight.

Dominick

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Me-shell

Date: July 8, 2012 1:26:34 PM EDT

To: dominick@

oops!

forgot to put anything on the email.

my sched is 2-8 tonight, 4-12 m and 3-11 t.

would love to talk, anytime.

hope you are well.

From: dominick@

Subject: Re: Re: Me-shell

Date: July 9, 2012 2:15:30 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Hi Angela,

Maybe we could try to get together Monday or Tuesday morning!

Dominick

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Me-shell

Date: July 9, 2012 8:07:12 AM EDT

To: dominick@

ok!

From: Megan Entwistle <MEntwistle@avestahousing.org>

Subject: RE: Me-shell

Date: July 9, 2012 1:58:21 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Cc: Cheryl Poulin <CPoulin@avestahousing.org>

Hey Angela,

Do you have time to meet with Cheryl and myself sometime this Wednesday or Thursday to discuss?

Thanks,

Megan Entwistle

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: heat cutter

Date: July 9, 2012 1:05:06 PM EDT

To: Nick Kline

Nick,

Can I use your heat cutter? I am ready to start a sample run and want to make them look pretty.

Thanks,

Angela

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: meeting

Date: July 9, 2012 2:10:40 PM EDT

To: Megan Entwistle <MEntwistle@avestahousing.org>

Yes,

I go to work at 11 on Wednesday, which may be better to meet before work, if you are available, as Thursday, I am not sure what my schedule is. Thursday is an option, however I would have to get back to you.

Angela

From: Megan Entwistle <MEntwistle@avestahousing.org>

Subject: RE: meeting

Date: July 9, 2012 2:59:02 PM EDT

To: 'Angela Cook' <xubrnt@mac.com>

Cc: Cheryl Poulin <CPoulin@avestahousing.org>

Hey Angela,

Can we meet around 10:15 at the OSL office?

Thanks,

Megan

From: Bill Melcher

Subject: Re: First Friday

Date: July 6, 2012 1:08:33 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hey! Looks like you figured it out!

Bill

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: First Friday

Date: July 7, 2012 12:30:32 AM EDT

To: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

It was a good turn out. The most foot traffic ever, and probably x 6-7 of any other show.

We've come up with ideas to make the entrance more noticeable, as it is very nondescript when you are on Congress St.

Ingrid set up outside on the street and sold a painting for $50.

Inside, Barbara and Richard had conversations for selling one of his tables and art work for a hospital. They were very pleased with their efforts, and showing in Portland.

My friend Janet and I dipped everything in chocolate : strawberries, dried apricots, dried ginger, our fingers, and had sparkling water and coffee, plus little mini cheesecakes, and vanilla meringues.

I did an email promo with the newsletter, and then the color email flyer the day of, plus posted physical flyers. They invited their friends. I stood at the corner of Nosh with the sandwich board, and directed people to the gallery.

81 Oakstreet also had a gallery opening. There is a possibility, I think, to have more vendors in front of Avesta on Oak Street, colorful banners hanging from the lamp post and maybe a sign in the glass stating the gallery entrance.

I visited 81 Oakstreet and had their artists come over, got business cards and emails, told them about the public space, gave a tour of my apartment, etc. It has been very positively received.

Did you look far and wide on the plains of Kansas? The man I work with in his wood shop is from Kansas.

My table looks like it is meant to be there, in my apartment.

On Jul 6, 2012, at 3:14 PM, Ben Walter wrote:

Looks good. I'll be flying back from Kansas.

Ben Walter

CWS Architects

Sent from my iPhone

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: just wonderin'

Date: July 9, 2012 1:04:06 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

Hello,

I was thinking about the 25th/ August art festival. I went to the site link to download the application, because I thought it would be nifty to have a presence there -- and there is a very plausible likelihood that I can have cards and product for donations for 72oak.org

however, it costs $135 to apply.

is there any reason why we couldn't set up on congress street on that day?

ingrid tells me it is lawful to set up on congress st. ...

it would be advantageous to have a presence, and a money making one = all the better.

From: Tanya Zivkovic

Subject: RE: just wonderin'

Date: July 9, 2012 9:59:49 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hello Angela,

I think having a booth at the festival is a great idea - however if we do not have the money to do it this year perhaps we can set up in front of our building? I know it is legal to set things up on Congress any time, however on the day of the festival I would suspect anyone without an assigned booth space would probably be removed, that is what I think, I am not sure it is that way.

I am not sure who has a show that month, is it Me-shell? I had sent Cheryl and Megan that info as well and they said they were hoping to have the Gallery open that day (I sure hope it is open, it would be a horrible missed opportunity if it wasn't).

I got a note back from Megan. I had written asking her to post the schedule for the Gallery and she said she would.

Hope you had a good day at work!

t.z.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: just wonderin'

Date: July 10, 2012 12:33:38 AM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

Hey Tz,

I think the application said it was "downtown portland" which might make congress st available, and certainly in front of osl is close enough.

me-shell has august gallery, if she comes thru.

i imagine, if she has not found a job, and still struggling with her post college identity, she may be a little ungrounded per the show. if there was any sort of heads up, it would be nice to arrange to have someone else show/ curate.

---

i am past reluctant and not in support of her professional contributions, and i really hate to be obstinate about this, but it is not ok to treat me or anyone as part of a contributing member of this residence / gallery that way. if she has the opportunity to shine, she is just going to build her empire of forgery and fauxpressional skills and mile-longer-than-yours resume. i am not ok with the assist and emotional support, personally, professionally or otherwise.

hopefully when i meet with megan and cheryl wed. something can be done to satisfy this demonstration of haughty, childish naughtiness. it shouldn't be held up and encouraged with civil opportunity.

work is pretty good. thanks.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Fwd: just wonderin'

Date: July 10, 2012 12:45:16 AM EDT

To: Megan Entwistle <mentwistle@avestahousing.org>

Cc: Cheryl Poulin <cpoulin@avestahousing.org>

Megan and Cheryl,

I know I am meeting with you Wed am, prior to my work. For organization of my thoughts, in case I am not as clear headed as I would like to be (I work late the night before), I have pulled this from my email to Tanya, mostly regarding august 25th and the gallery.

My feelings and thoughts to follow, re Me-shell and what most essentially needs to be expressed in our meeting.

See you Wed.,

Angela

me-shell has august gallery, if she comes thru.

---

i am past reluctant and not in support of her professional contributions, and i really hate to be obstinate about this, but it is not ok to treat me or anyone as part of a member of this residence / gallery that way. if she has the opportunity to shine, she is just going to build her empire of forgery and fauxpressional skills and mile-longer-than-yours resume. i am not ok with the assist and emotional support, personally, professionally or otherwise.

hopefully when i meet with megan and cheryl wed. something can be done to satisfy this demonstration of haughty, childish naughtiness. it shouldn't be held up and encouraged with civil opportunity.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: that guy!

Date: July 10, 2012 11:35:21 PM EDT

To: dominick@

Dominick,

How ironic that you should ask me about that guy (the one that yelled at me when i said "perhaps" to going out) -- as you reminded me I hadn't seen him for months if not 1/2 a year, and he was in my line today.

I saw him in the store as I was ringing a customer while on register. Mental note to self to escape from reg right after ringing the customer, but then another customer came, then another, then he was next in line.

before i finished the transaction with the customer in front of him, i looked around for a manager. no one in sight. i looked for a crew member ... and mike that was on reg behind me came walking by. i say: mike d, can you take over as i have to fix my contact.

mike attempts to take the guys groceries over to his register, but the guy very boldly says he is here to talk with angela.

i point at my eye and run!

cannot lie. he instills the flight portion of 'fight or flight.' i hung out in the break room, lower lip quivering, then spied thru the round windows in the double doors...

then did a little happy dance for a good part of the day, like i had escaped a close call, as i worked behind carton and container barriers in the box.

From: dominick@

Subject: Re: that guy!

Date: July 11, 2012 1:16:26 AM EDT

To: xubrnt@mac.com

Hi Angela,

What a coincidence!

I guess the energy was put out there in the universe and he responded. Close call, I'm glad that you were able to escape. From this day forward mum will be the word.

I enjoyed our conversation and getting to know you better.

Dominick

From: Mike Cook

Subject: Unmarried

Date: July 11, 2012 12:39:32 PM EDT

To: undisclosed-recipients: ;

Bcc: xubrnt@mac.com

The effective date of the dissolution of my marriage was July 5, 2012. I am now an unmarried person.

Mike

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Unmarried

Date: July 11, 2012 7:33:34 PM EDT

To: Mike Cook

congrats, to your new life.

may you live long and prosper happily..

love you,

From: Tanya Zivkovic

Subject: duuude, that sucks.

Date: July 11, 2012 11:17:17 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hi Angela,

Thank you for stopping and talking to Richard and I tonight, I love talking to you.

I am very unhappy that things have taken the turn they have with the newsletter. What the hell are they trying to accomplish by doing that? It is a power hungry move on the part of the people in charge and goes against everything they have been supposedly trying to foster here. It is called censorship and it is disgusting.

A sense of community is brought about when people living together share things with each other. Their fire safety night was a real success. I think about seven, yes, seven attended from the building with 30 people deciding not to put in an appearance. The attendance at the resident meetings is also shockingly low.

As artists it is important that they know we are not bobble-head dolls that sit calmly in a line and nod at their every comment.

I never signed the hallway agreement. I thought it was ridiculous. It limited my freedom of speech in a God Damned HALLWAY. For cryin' out loud. Someday they will probably notice that I didn't sign one and put up a fuss and I will have to sign.

Did I ever share with you the experience of Cheryl finding my tools plugged in the first day I used the work room? You would have thought I had set up a flamethrower in there and left it running. I was told in no uncertain terms that if it ever happened again I would not be allowed to use the work room. So, again, that was pleasant.

I have to remind myself whenever I create something for the Gallery or imagine placing something down there that it has to go before Management and be cleared for take off, so to speak. What if I make something they don't like?

I am thankful for the space to work. I am thankful for the living quarters which I enjoy. I am thankful for the chance to use the Gallery.

I don't want to be beholden to these folks for those opportunities. I am at a point in my life where I believe I deserve those things. You do too, and I am so glad to have met you.

You did a marvelous job with the newsletter, Angela. It was a pleasure to read it and I am sorry they don't see what they will be missing.

Let's just say if they plan to fill the void left by your absence with more of Miss MECA I won't be hanging around much longer either (in the resident meetings).

I was told by several people in my life that I should avoid her because she makes me angry. :(

Be well,

Tanya Z.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: sending gladiolas

Date: July 12, 2012 1:50:41 AM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

i am so sorry about the fucking cheryl stories.

she needs a head check for her abominable reactions from the management position.

you have been gracious as a saint!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2/18/15 addendum // Before the building was operational, there was an opportunity extended to the public for a walk thru. The public notice didn't say where to meet at the building that was under construction I repleat~ eye, & I approached walking from Congress Street, and saw a construction guy exit from a side door, in the parking area facing the back of 555. I entered it, saw the elevator didn't work, and so took the stairs to meet with Cheryl at the office on the 2nd floor. She was upset with me, wanted to know how I got in first without intervention (apparently public tours were going on with an Avesta representative and taking place from inside the garage / who knew? with intention), and I said I used the door, quite naturally enough I saw someone else use / in 0f.

She wanted me to meet with the group tours, where ever they were, I asked her since I was t/here, If I could view the room.

Tanya and Richard had a similar & more pro-found- bite-your-head-of-f-experience with Cheryl, as they didn't find the proper door to meet with a remember. Their first brush with Cheryl in person that day, would seem she was overtly caustic to them, for being present with-ad-miss-i-on-e-. It is a threatening mediation to affront (pore -2- poor peop/le pt' be co/m -e- te/n-on-e-"necessary" en-huf-f-) to seek a place in comfort to abide the ad day (-e- 0n e with0ut a n0un 0n e vent u al ly e t00/the al lay... except in me/as/u/re make) ... Tanya several times had to put Cheryl-s over-t- exacerbations directed at her in a bracket, perhaps to profit a new circumstance of tenants with memory loss to tooth Avest~a s/it (-e-)

I do find fault in Cheryl-s management-ap-peal- too tooth the constraints she "desires" for re all : for a re al / l end she didn't de all / fore Avesta's 0 pen appeal. For instance, for me, I would send notice for a public meeting, describing (by knowing) the lay of the land, the direction of the road, and foot traffic even, and, delineate deliberately w/here to meet t hat day, for what? a commune al~la walk through 0 pen ly, & not a managed back hand to cover-t-up- the wear with all that went without in the "fir-st-p-l-ace"-2- s-up- on someone else's qui te inn 0 cent pr0w t inn 0.f (all ready signed-up-e-tu-be-re-distribute-d-0f-f-self esteem & all 0ver time law-st-with0~ut a re c0unt~i/n~g c0 h0 st and "x" t-he-s-i-c-an-t-re-vise as "eye" didn't make on/e being the provisional line in the first place going for e ward you see 0n e 0n e -&- can own lie -n- a noun in court -2- re- deem- t- 0r- t- in- g- the value never actually e. g.ive n d's 2 x too the receive~ nd's~ e/am~ end's~ ee~ de~ n's~ it~ eye even ly e) just for the same say apparent ly e to me re garden inn g the. g.c. with no co-ho-st-ing t0 me re persona personal ly a ware inn dependent ly e ar se~e & see am/e & sayT a/i'm~e inherent~ly~e~

I do feel it was 0 pen discrimination by Cheryl to treat the knowingly financially dispossessed as her indiscriminate interest on her -e- l-eve-l-and too toothe the inflict on e-the-b-eve-l- (there are plenty of meetings to get certified here, every account, and references are looked into: on a line of income, t-hey-e- know your exact position apparently freely given / -d-s-). The 'one on one' quick ly slides into a disparagement free-ly-e.-g.-ive-n-d-s-um-e- an/d- over- time you are t-re-at-e-d-too-the-opportunity -2-suck-it-up- provisionally providing for Avesta to muck it up on the inside / out of sight, and on your s/hi/t~all~out~a/l/u/c~k 2 fi/n d a place 2 x t00 x tu`be re root and put any w/here in life 0n/e we in/c~s/t/ri/de (t-hat -e- t-hey-e-re-po-sit-i-on-e-2-re-claim-t-hr-u- mime inn extension-s-)

(the "lawyer" is re-fuse-ing-a-way-tu-be-shit out of luck any-e-way-e- with the verye "choice" he has come "up"-to-w-n-ly-e-) x (he doesn't have free choice to make, own-l-ie-n -2-too-the take(g)a way -e-t-hr-u- le-i-n-g-)

*keg is a container for nails vs- n-ails, gaw is guaranteed annual wage vs d-ate-d-ay-t- , a keg is a ke.g. t hat s hue tu`be a maid en sit~y's t re am in g f0/r/t/e see inn' say ke (the snail shell is a cochlear spiral cavity of the inner ear containing the organ of C0/r/t/i t00 the screw e.g.0/n ad g/ear e

For me regarding Avesta -appro-pone-n/t-a-re-verse-al-l- there is a lack in knowing how to be in management with0~ut re hearse l-l-. I think Cheryl found it easy to dispossess pore people, to serve her lack of interest in the fore front w/here it could be sucke-d-up-e- on he/r-one- with out apparent discrimination (from a lack of resources believe-d- tu be d-0wn- 2- see the g ap-an-d-p-act- for-war-d-in-g-t-0wn-) in ti-me-n-title-men-t-oo-the-not-e-think e vein e w/ a s/c0pe. In her entitlement to s-ave-the-d-aye- her management doesn't need to be stratified to include seeing any e way e.

I mention pore people, poor people have nothing but time to offer sufficiently primed to proffer. The competitive market place displaces the pore to be poor and re-por-t-all-can-e-whites make the b/lacks erve the g/rain an sugar too th-a hem the s-am-e- vain-

One of the gap-act-bye-Avesta- is seeing no contribution in advance of their tu`be tenants, to have lent to Avesta's apparent existence 2 stand on e merit.

For me to hear about the intial way Cheryl handled her "management-st-aye-&-st-all-"without any re all skill 2 keel and act u all ye t'all, then to confer with my own experience, then to hear about the way Tanya was treated (miss-treat-e-d-) in the art room for keeping her tool plugged into the wall (and no follow up with Me-shell on the same ground s well and- '0 w/-hell-aw-l-) t here are many gaps i quest i 0n e in the be h/ave vie w/ is e all. I question if the mean girth of Cheryl's provision for Tanya is because she is over weigh tin -e're- vision. In no one instance do I feel Tanya's digressions to not pay attention on Cheryl's advent' spoken keel, were commensurate with a fore thought or e intention 2 he all and if that is not, say 0ne' seen intention f0ra re all, t hen w hat is your mer-rye in-ven-t-i-0n-e- (too-the-ste-all-0-pe/n/d-ly-e-pr0-vide-all-)

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: friday

Date: July 12, 2012 3:19:44 PM EDT

To: Linda Gallion

hello,

thanks. i will bring the staple gun / compressor friday.

the fabric came in the mail a few days ago, so i am using it today, and will be finished when i return it friday.

thanks for the usage.

see you friday.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Date: July 13, 2012 11:01:37 AM EDT

To: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

The reason we were meeting Wednesday was about me-shell, the meca grad.

She is a little sketchy, and i was getting upset with these conversations I was hearing about the parking. She wanted a place to park in the covered area. I have a spot. I was going out of town to run the B&B where I also do wood working.

Once a project has been designed, I often spend my 2 days off there. I told her, when I am out of town, she could park there.

I arranged it with Avesta, and Me-shell started parking there whenever. I called to let her know to move her vehicle, and that we were never doing this again.

She turned this into a conversation that she said I said she could park there whenever, and when she finally took me up on it, i flipped out.

She told it to residence that told me. She told it to TJ employees, on the night of my first friday curation, outside the gallery that told me.

The day I said no more park sharing, she hurled the carton of eggs (sans eggs) that I had collected from the chickens at the b&b for her because she said she would like them, down the hallway.

I thought this was disturbing. I eventually let Megan know about it, and her stalking me after midnight from the elevator to the community room, agitated, dressed in black, hoody up. Slightly weird behavior.

I figured, if I don't give her eggs, or anything, she can't toss them at me. And I was amazed the parking lot conversation had such a run. So I expressed a desire for management to meliorate a potential conflict.

Meeting was wed. morning before I went to work. They kind of treated me as if i were the instigator, judging by Cheryl's looks, which are only slightly veiled the more I get to counsel with her. (p.s. I think she would have a hell of a time being a mother ie a good mother).

I had to point out, I am discussing this with people that are coming to me, but Me-shell is initiating...

I said I value my free time, and I tired of this conversation of being tacked on thru others via Me-shell.

Cheryl took that as the jumping off point to redirect the conversation about Avesta doing the newsletter, as I "value my time. "(That's cute she took the time to acknowledge that). I said I was building something... People were coming to me to participate, and i didn't think they would go to the guy in the office who is not a face here...

They are managing outside their bounds.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Date: July 14, 2012 10:43:17 AM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

Cc: Ben Walter <bwalter@cwsarch.com>

Hello Tz,

I've been thinking about the hubris of Cheryl to take back the newsletter in private when it was offered (to me) in the resident meeting.

They think we are twats to sit in and pretend to give a listening ear.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: shute

Date: July 14, 2012 11:03:37 AM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

Tz,

This newsletter may be my one stop effort per management.

I have added the undisclosed hubris of offering the newsletter in the resident meeting, and taking it away in private.

Is there anything you would like to add? I know Rebecca has a lot of venom for the management...

I have a back page that is empty.

Should I talk about the irony of Avesta eating your cake? (u buy, they eat)

I am more than willing to do this on my own, on principle. At the very least, the purpose is to expose what is going on for residents, and perhaps shaming by peers ie taking it to their bosses...

I'd appreciate your feedback going into the shute (shoot! i really did just copy an deliver that!)

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: fund it

Date: July 14, 2012 11:13:47 AM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

i'm offering the newsletter as a laminated placemat for $5 donation.

What should I call the fund: Eating my own cake / fund ? Just say No to cruel and unusual cake eating/?

we need someone to do some art on the other side ...

wouldn't that be fucking funny?

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Friday AM

Date: July 13, 2012 3:15:42 PM EDT

To: Linda Gallion

Rick and Linda,

I am sorry I am going to miss your opening today. I'm going to stay in town and address some concerns. Janet's knee is swollen and i have a friend in the hospital.

I would like to return your staple gun. When will you be at work?

Also, my days off next week are Th and F. I am going to work on the cardboard mock up and drawing this week and perhaps we can meet Th and or F... and I can catch Linda's show then.

I received the card. I really enjoy the organic quality and sense of delight! It is lovely work :)

All the best today!

see you soon,

angela

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: bananos are goot

Date: July 16, 2012 12:20:28 PM EDT

To: Tanya Zivkovic

hello,

thanks for letting me know about 2degrees. I'll check out the website.

I am working until 11 on wednesday night, so I won't be able to make it.

Today, I have been sewing in the community room. I have streamlined my prototype, and getting ready for my first little run. Perhaps, I can sell them outside OSL on the 25th or first fridays ... get a little cash.

I think I need to deliver the newsletter. Probably Wed. day, before work. I probably should drop off a copy to greg payne and any higher ups at avesta, but that can be done Thurs or Friday.

One of the things with the censorship about the crappy internet- is that I don't think Avesta/ Cheryl wants that info getting out like all of Avesta internet service sucks. It is a very harsh way to manage free expression.

If Cheryl et al push in response, I can up the ante and send it to news sources and investors etc, art sources>> essentially making a stink to draw attention to this problem.

I have included a FYI on the newsletter:

A laminated copy of this newsletter as place mat can be yours for a $5 donation. For Real! You can make your cake and eat it too! on a worthy place mat that loves your crumbs.

and I talked about the newsletter being offered to any resident to write in the resident meeting, and taken away with non disclosed hubris in private.

I feel in principle, it is not right the way they are managing, and I feel they don't give a shit what I or anyone else feels.

have a goot day!

i like goot, don't you? and banano. banana is so last millenium.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: travel time

Date: July 16, 2012 1:30:33 PM EDT

To: Mike Cook

Mike,

Would you be interested in me flying to Sacramento in November, then to see Dad and Lew at Thanksgiving?

It takes the same amount of time, and costs a wee bit less.

Just ideating ...

Angela

From: Mike Cook

Subject: Re: travel time

Date: July 16, 2012 2:13:47 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Yea, that would be cool. Let's take Thanksgiving week off.

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: travel time

Date: July 16, 2012 2:43:10 PM EDT

To: Mike Cook

give me an arrival and departure date/s ...

thanks,

From: Mike Cook

Subject: Re: travel time

Date: July 16, 2012 3:29:57 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Come in the Friday the week before Thanksgiving and leave the Sunday

or Monday after Thanksgiving - 9 or 10 days later. You can always

come earlier or stay later than that if you want:)

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: travel time

Date: July 17, 2012 12:31:31 AM EDT

To: Mike Cook

ok,

around september I will purchase a ticket and let you know the dates.

sounds great. i look forward to a little vaca.

got your other information.

thanks.

From: ?

Subject: Do you know anyone currently practicing voo-doo in the Portland area?

Date: July 16, 2012 11:42:38 PM EDT

To: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Hey Angela,

I am going to share something with you here.

I am looking for a small doll like item that I could shove pins into causing unimaginable pain to the person I am currently hating on.

You know that charming old man who I sometimes hang out with? Well, he is a roaring asshole and last night was actually the last straw.

I went with him when he bought his laptop because he knows literally nothing about computers. I set him up with an email adress four years ago and helped him get back in touch with his Navy buddies who he hadn't been in touch with for forty years. Good old helpful me.

Last night I go to his apartment to help him send an email to one of these friends of his and I am just sending that email and bopping around his computer looking at the browser history and I find he has been searching the site "xdating.com" which is a sex hook-up site. And then the lies begin, "Oh I got that because I go to that one porn site, it just popped up and I clicked on it and it took me there..." This is one of those sites where you enter your email address and create a password etc. you cannot go searching without giving the site some information. I didn't flip out. I left and went home. This morning I brought my computer down to him so he could see that I knew he was lying to me about the site, and I told him that I used a site like that too and that I have a date for Friday night. He got angry and told me to leave so I did. I have been using a dating site but I don't have a date for Friday night so I am a liar just like him.

Yeah, it is all drama-lama-ding-dong all over the place. But this isn't even a good story, the good stories involve drugs and hookers and God knows what all I don't know about. He seems so charming. Right?

I wasn't sure what to tell you, I hope this isn't too much sharing.

Tell me about your day, and what is going on with the newsletter now! Hope work was awesome!

I am looking forward to August First Friday because I am doing a table down there that night next to Ingrid.

Cheers, we should have a chat and you can tell me how much men suck and i can listen and learn stuff.

love,

From: Angela Cook <xubrnt@mac.com>

Subject: Re: Do you know anyone currently practicing voo-doo in the Portland area?

Date: July 17, 2012 1:01:31 AM EDT

To: ?

Darling!

I have to say, I don't trust most guys. Even guys I work with who are buddies of sorts, and I have a good time with, it is interesting to see them so easily stray (with the girl with the tattoo in the checkout line). I am not saying they are all like that. I am saying, men of a certain age are - well, definitely objectify. It is how they relate, and they can't think of another way. Men of another age, haven't refined how to know what matters, and an object of desire may not be a personality match.

I get that he can be charming, also aloof in that he is not really present with you. He is a lot like my ex, in a way... in the way of charm, but not particularly there or interested, unless it involves sex. Sometimes, I think they never grow up, a lot of them, and try to hold on to the party action handle. ...It is probably why, mostly, i don't find guys that I want to be a mate with. My reality is much more empowered and has much more verve without them... I am not against having a boyfriend, I might just be shocked as hell to find one I liked as an equal / that isn't taken.

Bummer that you are such a helpful friend, at the very least. and that is not regarded in a like manner or valued appropriately. I think I would feel icy given your scenario, and disturbed. At least you are not married to Andrew Weiner!!!

I think guys that are heavily into porn see intimacy as convenience, and extrapolate a relationship out of that. Guys in general have it easy in the market place, and I am not talking the relationship market. I spent many years working in the trades. Guys just had to show up to get a paycheck. They didn't need to know what they were doing. They didn't need to do a good job. They came enebriated, high, didn't pick up after their self, and asked me to set their ladder and do their work.

Furthermore, a man hiring a man, trusts a man, even if he is a liability in every way on the job site, and will be given many chances even if he F's things up. If you are a woman, your "concern" cannot be heard. It sucks to see this as a condition for work over and over in Maine.

Since guys have it easy in the market place, where they do not have to do a conscientious job and hardly conscious, I believe they figure they don't have to work at relating or relationships. Just do what is easy, titillating, and float on easy money and "good times." I'm postulating how you earn your money defines how you can spend it, and defines your soul.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes / Woman Who Run With The Wolves, says most people lose their soul by the age of 35. I was shocked to read this (many years ago) and fathom all the people that I knew of that age or older, running around soulless, conscientiousless, masters of playing the game, all earnestness vacated.

I haven't made the best relationship choices in my life, and mostly while in Maine. They have been motivated by survival. I have a little stability (I hope with TJ and living here)... I'm in a good position to love myself, work on my expression and what I want... and hope that a good relationship base can come out of this / at some point, and/or a dog will be just fine company :)

So, it sucks he doesn't care about his soul. The good news is, you have one, and you need to find someone with a juicy, reciprocal, keen on life, center. Fun and buoyant would be awesome, too!